Welcome to issue #004 of Opt Out - A newsletter that aims to help you think differently, live more intentionally and escape the normal avenue of life. If you’d like to support Opt Out or buy me a coffee then consider becoming a paying member.
Ever find yourself waiting? Waiting for the right moment, the perfect plan, or maybe even for someone to give you the nod, that little green light that says, "Okay, you can go now"?
It’s a funny thing, this habit of seeking permission. I think it’s drilled into us from way back. At school, you raise your hand. At your first job, you check with the boss.
It becomes this invisible script we follow, often without even realising it.
We learn to look outside ourselves for validation before we make a move.
I had a bit of a lightbulb moment about this not too long ago, though it’s been brewing for a while.
It’s the rather stark realisation that, for the most part, no one is coming to save you.
No one is going to magically appear with a perfectly tailored instruction manual for the life you want or the thing you want to do. If you want something, you generally need to ask for it, or more often, just go get it. Or do it.
My family and I spent some time caravanning around Australia. It was one of those "someday" dreams. And honestly, if we'd waited for all the stars to align perfectly, for external "permission," or for me to stop waiting for the absolute "right time"... well, we’d probably still be waiting. It would likely have remained a "someday" that never arrived.
Taking that leap, and looking back at other moments in life, has really cemented this for me: no matter what situation you find yourself in, you usually have more power to change it than you think - especially if it's a situation you don't like.
What I’m learning, slowly but surely, is that the only person truly holding you back is often yourself.
It’s so easy to get caught in the loop of overthinking, planning every conceivable detail until the opportunity passes you by - I call this analysis paralysis.
But the real movement, the real learning, happens when you just... start.
Get moving, and figure things out along the way.
It’s not always easy, of course. That little voice that craves certainty or approval can be pretty loud. So, something I’m consciously trying is to back myself more on decisions I might have previously sought a dozen opinions on.
When I'm at that crossroads, especially with work-related things where I might have once looked for that "sign off," I try to run a quick internal check: "Okay, what's the absolute worst-case scenario here?" And then: "Does the potential upside, the benefit of doing this, heavily outweigh that risk?" More often than not, the worst-case scenario is manageable, and the potential benefit is worth the leap, however small. It’s like building a new muscle.
And why does any of this matter? Why share it? Because this isn't about encouraging everyone to become a rebel or to go around being a troublemaker. It’s about agency. It’s about knowing, truly knowing deep down, that you have the power to choose.
You have the inherent freedom to act.
The most fulfilled and impactful people I’ve observed don't seem to wait for permission. They try stuff. They experiment. When they get advice from someone, they don’t just swallow it whole; they adapt it to their unique situation, mixing and matching different approaches.
Think about it: when someone gives you advice, it’s not a command. It's simply one option, one perspective.
When you read a book full of ideas, those aren't immutable laws. They're possibilities.
When you see someone else succeed with a particular method, that’s not a map you have to follow step-by-step. It's just proof that one way worked for them.
Your life, your work, your projects – they all get a lot easier and more aligned with who you are when you realise that nobody is really standing in your way. Most of the doors aren't even locked. You can just walk right through.
The barriers we perceive are so often self-created, built by that old habit of waiting for an unnecessary green light.
So, maybe this week, notice where you might be waiting for permission you don’t actually need. What’s one small step you could take, just by deciding to?
Until next time,
Kyfer
One-liner takeaway: You can just do things—most doors aren't locked.
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I’ve personally experienced how the right mindset and actions can truly open doors in life and change your future. Well written article, thanks for sharing.